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**PRINT: FRIENDS FROM CINCINNATI: Installment 24 features this part coming-of-age short by Chicago's Patrick Somerville, author of the Trouble collection of shorts out in 2006. | PAST BROADSHEETS |

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CAN YOU DISTINGUISH HIP-HOP BRAGADOCCIO FROM SINGLES-SITE DESPERATION?
---
Mickey Hess

Which of these lines come from Mike Dís introductions of himself in lyrics, and which from personal ads from Match.com?

I'm Mike D...

1) I got all the fly juice
2) I'm doing extremely well financially
3) A known fly coolie
4) I own my own 3 bedroom house
5) I am new at this kind of thing
6) My friends tell me I have a very dry humor
7) I got the deuces wild
8) And I'm known for romance
9) I'm a mal-adjusted guy
10) And I'm bustin' out trap kits
11) And I'm back from the dead
12) I have decided to major in Criminal Justice
13) The person I end up with will most likely be someone with opinions
14) And it's been proven
15) And I get respect
16) Everyone always tells me they can't believe I'm not dating anyone
17) It really shouldn't be this hard to find the right person
18) Somebody help me


MORE BY MICKEY HESS


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