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Feb. 3, 02.38 A.M. EST The cops are right outside the door. I've got like 10 seconds to write.
WHOA! - I really had you going! Don't you get it, Todd? These e-mails ...
they're all PART of the story told in the form of e-mails! Clever, huh?
Maybe a little too clever. THIS is the finale - the big payoff. We'll laugh
about it someday. And you thought I was serious! Real funny. Ha, ha, ha.
Yeah.
Feb. 3, 02.26 A.M. EST WHAT DO YOU WANT, MONEY?! C'MON, MAN!
Feb. 3, 02.04 A.M. EST Where the hell are you? DAMMIT CALL ME RIGHT NOW! Look, there's been a
terrible misunderstanding. Just talk to me so I can explain! It was all a
joke. Just a joke!
Feb. 3, 01.06 A.M. EST OH MY GOD YOU POSTED THAT LIST! Take it down IMMEDIATELY! I tried your cell
phone, but you didn't answer. TAKE THAT DAMN THING DOWN!!!!
Feb. 2, 11.49 P.M. EST To: Todd From: Dave Re: List Sorry to pester. But you DID get my email about spiking that list, right?
Sent totally by accident. It's just ... an idea for a story I might write
someday. I'm especially concerned because you run a LITERARY WEB SITE and
all. I'd hate for you to think it was some kind of story-as-list thing and
post it. That would be crazy. Just nuts. So ... whatever you do, PLEASE DO
NOT POST!!! SPIKE IT! Thanks!!
Feb. 2, 11.04 P.M. EST Hey, Todd. Please spike that e-mail I just sent. Having some computer issues
here -- that "List" thing jumped from Word into Hotmail and sent itself.
Damndest thing I ever saw. I'm a compulsive list maker. Have been since I
was a kid. Can't stop myself. My shrink says it's OCD to the max: always
with the lists. Especially when I'm under stress. It's crazy. Just ... um
... forget I sent it. Okay? Spike it. Now. Use that PERMANENT delete
feature. Thanks, buddy.
Feb. 2, 11.03 P.M. EST Shopping for weekend. (Remember toothpaste, bottled water). Withdraw $5,000. Meet man behind Hogie Barn, give him the money, Lori's picture, layout of the house. Make sure neighbors see me at cottage. Phone rings twice -- then I'll know it's done. Remember to spike this list! BOOKS ACTUALLY WRITTEN BY MONKEYS USING TYPEWRITERS
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