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**PRINT: FRIENDS FROM CINCINNATI: Installment 24 features this part coming-of-age short by Chicago's Patrick Somerville, author of the Trouble collection of shorts out in 2006. | PAST BROADSHEETS |

The Revolution of Everyday Life

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James Gardner

Q's: alt.society.conservatism (http://www.faqs.org/faqs/conservatism/faq/)
A's: alt.pagan (http://www.faqs.org/faqs/paganism-faq/)

What is distinctive about conservatism as a political view?

This is a bit of a loaded question, since there are several different conceptions of what Satanism really is.

Why can't conservatives just accept that people's personal values differ?

Can we? Probably.

Will we? Not on your life, bucko.

Aren't conservatives racist sexist homophobes?

Depends on who you ask. :)

This makes it sound as if we spend our lives deciding whether to curse or hex someone, when that's not true.

Why don't conservatives care about what happens to the poor, weak, discouraged, and outcast?

As is often the case, this horror sprang from fear and misinformation -- most of the people who were arrested, tortured and killed were not witches.

What about people for whom the usual support networks don't work? Shouldn't the government do something for them?

Anything you do for yourself will work much better than a spell or work done by someone else.

Isn't conservatism essentially nostalgia for a past that never was and can't be restored?

It's not a plot to keep you out or to make you feel bad, but rather quite an ancient method of exploring certain mysteries that only apply to one sex.

What are neoconservatives?

Well, if you're expecting to hear about sex and blood magic, animal sacrifice, and ritual cruelty, then you'll be disappointed.

If what you're really wanting to know is do we sacrifice babies and worship evil incarnate, the answer's no.

James Gardner sleeps, muses and differentiates equations in Stockton, CA.