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**PRINT: FRIENDS FROM CINCINNATI: Installment 24 features this part coming-of-age short by Chicago's Patrick Somerville, author of the Trouble collection of shorts out in 2006. | PAST BROADSHEETS |

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GADDIS ITINERARY TWO
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TODD DILLS

745pm/
--notebook gone, shit here.. passing my own to the man. --we gotta be fifteen minutes reading..

--call!..

...ringing in receiver... --hello you have reached.. and a static and a --hello hello?..

--come pick us.. yes we're at.. no.. rainbo.. perfect.. and so you're inside the mind of the others. --we can make silver dollar..

--Rock Hill Carolina asshole we'll never get..


751pm/

we have ten minutes. friend arrives, spirits us toward Honda. --hey labonte you driving that chevy there? labonte labonte labonte pointing across street to pristine new Monte Carlo. --looks like a.. zoom zoom.. don't it?

you are in the mood for a trey beck and a $1 beer, cheap and sick and --you want me to take you where?.. crazy that's long gone down hell..

--south carolina? yes it's... yes well watch boom boom boom this brother.. a whoosh and spin and here you are..


852pm/
eastern time --it is the silver dollar, see, the dollar dog.. and here's my brother and trey, mustachioed, southern and insulting --see goddamnit and now who's labonte..

--motherfucker.. where's my.. you got my goddamned honda in your back pocket..

trey wants IDs and --yes these boys got the membership.. ourselves producing three shiny new silver dollar tags with their own names and pictures on them.

--what the.. I've never seen THIS before..

--I love this place I love this place I love.. heavy metal mad boom in BLACK HOLE SUN WON'T YOU..

--have a beer, man.. here $1 Red Dog..

--have another beer, man..

--have another beer, man..

--dude we're gonna be late..


758pm/
back on time. jokers reading about Strom Thurmond.. SHIT I'VE LOST WEIGHT. motherfuckers have a gong up there and.. [hit gong] NOW..

OKAY, TIME TO TALK STRAIGHT TO YOU. WE'VE MADE IT. IT'S BEEN A LONG, LONG DAY, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN. THIS MORNING I TRIED TO SELL A WRITING CLASS TO A GAGGLE OF TEENAGERS. THIS AFTERNOON I DID NOTHING MUCH BUT WATCH RACE AND DRINK AND, IN THE LAST FEW HOURS, AS YOU CAN SEE --hey yes I'll pick up the drugs on the.. what?.. WE'VE BEEN NOT ONLY TO WATCH A NASCAR RACE ON A MONDAY, TAKE IT ALL, BUT TO THE RAINBO CLUB WHERE A NOTEBOOK WAS STOLEN AND A CURIOUS MEANING FOR THE WORD LABONTE DID TAKE EFFECT, AND --i'll be there hell yes.. THEN WE ACTUALLY WERE TRANSPORTED VIA HONDA TO ROCK HILL, SOUTH CAROLINA, WHERE THE BOYS LISTEN TO HEAVY METAL MUSIC AND THE BEER IS CHEAP. --dude I told you only a fiver I had, only a nickel, if you like.. BUT WE HAVE MADE IT ALL, AND ALL IS WELL IN THE PRESENT MOMENT, BUT SOMETHING HAS TO HAPPEN, HERE, AND FOR THIS SOMETHING TO HAPPEN WE NEED A MAN WITH A NOTEBOOK, BUT HE WILL NOT BE, WELL, PARTICULARLY VISIBLE, ONLY COGNITIVELY VISIBLE, YEAH? WHICH IS WELL SOMETHING YOU'LL JUST HAVE TO TRUST ME ON, OKAY, SO HE'S OVER THERE, RIGHT BY THE DOOR, AND THAT ENDS THIS LITTLE SOLILOQUOY --goddamnit goddamnit what's the problem.. RIGHT.. HE'S RIGHT THERE BY THE DOOR.. 3-2-1 BLASTOFF!

--hey look isn't that my..

--hey stop now don't you think you better cool down before.. your friend wants his notebook back. the man who took it stares us down, waving the thing out front of himself like, here, poochie poochie.. --cool down brother it's just..

--Fuck the arts! he said it, he did and it's..

we have other things coming.. nice soft wives have plans for the human race.. or don't.. nice story anyhow: you think something like this, though all is hard to see, what with men waving notebooks and you labonte and friend chomping hard to get at him. go go go..

three boys read about being Labonte, NOTEBOOK GONE, SHIT HERE.. and you can see the notebook now. friend screaming like a baby driver.. --give me my goddamned notebook you yuppie trash heap in a larvae piled up mashmouth, I'll get you..

notebook man pulls a gun and --oh shit hell I'm a goner.. friend goes down, but you are gonna be allright, cause other friends are there, and you never liked labonte so much anyway in spite of his victory at Darlington Southern 500 in.. --hey can we get a beer, please..

--yes, one for the living, please..

--yessir..


GADDIS ITINERARY ONE


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